Behold, the Hockey Toilet (Puck Treasures)

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Perhaps the Stanley Cup Playoffs have you feeling flush. Or stopped up. Perhaps you’re bowled over from a steady stream of action, or a swirl of emotion that you can’t just seem to put a lid on. Fear not, fellow puckheads: The Hockey Toilet is your throne of games …

Currently available for $17 on eBay, this “Unique Ice Hockey Design Acrylic Resin Oval Toilet Seat” is exactly as we just described it. It’s a standard round toilet seat that fits all manufacturers round and oval commodes.

It features a seemingly ancient (given the equipment) game scene in which a goalie appears to be looking through the net on his hands and knees at an offensive player (in an old Team USA jersey perhaps?) with the puck. This is not a traditional butterfly, that’s for sure.

But what makes this crapper unique? How is this any different from a custom-made NHL toilet cover like this Red Wings one? Behold the seat:

Yes, you poop in the goal. Pretty much on the goalie. All of those nights when that sieve lost the game for your team? Scatological vengeance is yours. (“Scatological Vengeance”, incidentally, being the best punk band name never used.)

OK, so it’s not a $5,300 Maple Leafs Gardens toilet. But you try finding a Unique Ice Hockey Design Acrylic Resin Oval Toilet Seat for less than $17, buster.

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