The ever-inventive Bakersfield Condors of the ECHL – who previously brought you Charlie Sheen Night and your chance to win your own gravesite – have decided to honor the 150th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address with commemorative jerseys on Sunday, against the Stockton Thunder. The speech was delivered on Thursday, Nov. 19, 1863.
To answer your next question: Yes, every variation of the “four score” joke has already been made …
The Condors released a sketch of the jerseys earlier this week, but here they are in all of their patriotic splendor, as modeled by Bakersfield defenseman Joe Marciano and forward Cameron Abney. Here’s Marciano with the front:
And some extra detail on the back of the sweater ...
... which includes the actual text of the Gettysburg Address along with a battle between Union and Confederate soldiers. And what better way to honor their memories than by placing them under one’s buttocks on the player bench, right?
Speaking of cheeky things, the Condors have the following ready to publish in their Sunday game program:
Four years and a dozen more ago, Jonathan Fleisig brought forth on this city, a new hockey team, conceived in family entertainment, and dedicated to the proposition that the greatest game on Earth could succeed in Kern County.
Now, we are engaged in a great battle with rivals throughout the West, testing whether Condorstown or any Condorstown so awesome and so passionate, can long endure. We are met on the great sheet of ice of that battle.
We have come here today to dedicate the game today to those who have played here and reassure our commitment to this community by raising money for the Bakersfield ARC, coats for the Bakersfield Mission, and honoring our military with free tickets. It is altogether fitting and proper that we, as Condorstown, should do this.
And that hockey team, of Condorstown, by Condorstown, and for Condorstown, shall not perish from this Earth.
As Honest Abe said: “The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.”
And what they did here is put a stovepipe hat on a cartoon bird. So say we all…
Head to the Condors' site for more information, and thanks to the team for the images.