AHL captain gets own superhero lunchbox; best fan giveaway ever? (Photos)

This is Jeff Hoggan.

He’s the mild-mannered captain of the Grand Rapids Griffins, having led the team to their first Calder Cup championship in 2013. He smiles, wears glasses and does all the hard work that comes with being an American Hockey League star, like appearing on WZZM 13, where mornings are indeed better.

But when danger approaches … when someone cries out in fear … when the city needs a hero … Jeff Hoggan transforms into Grand Rapids’ mightiest hero …

THE CAPTAIN!

As depicted on this awesome, awesome lunchbox created by the Griffins:

The lunchbox, featuring Hoggan’s Clark Kent-esque visage transforming into a superhero, will be given away to the first 2,500 fans 12 and under prior to the Griffins’ game against the Iowa Wild on Saturday.

And then promptly placed on eBay by their parents.

The Griffins, the Detroit Red Wings affiliate, also created a special commercial for the lunchboxes, featuring Hoggan’s Justice League compatriot, SCREAMING GUY.

This is, without question, one of the coolest things we’ve ever seen a hockey team give away at a game. Bobblehead dolls shake their heads at how uncool they are in comparison to player superhero lunchboxes.

(I mean, they shake their heads anyway, but … you get the idea.)

So hurry to the game and be sure to snag one of these lunchboxes.

We assume there won’t be any problems making them available at the game for fans …

... wait a moment ... what's that smell?

It smells like millions of dollars being flushed down a toilet...

OH NOES!!!!

IT’S DEVEN DARK FROM THE NHL’S ILL-FATED GUARDIANS PROJECT!

WHO WILL SAVE US FROM THIS EVIL CRIMINAL MASTERMIND?!

MY GAWD, THAT'S THE MAPLE LEAF'S MUSIC!!!

“i am … groooooooooot? No, just his obvious character design ripoff..."

And Deven Dark was hit with a sap bomb and the day was saved. Excelsior!

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