Adam Oates, grouch; Flames tanking poorly; Caps’ toaster makes bad toast (Puck Headlines)

Harrison Mooney

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Fact: Jaromir Jagr lives a cooler life than you.

• Adam Oates thinks Tomas Hertl's amazing breakaway goal disrespected the league. In a related story, Adam Oates lives in a trash can. [Washington Post]

• The Calgary Flames even suck at tanking. [ESPN]

• Sean Monahan is part of the problem. The 18-year-old rookie is riding a four-game point streak. [Calgary Sun]

• Sure, it's signed by some members of the Washington Capitals, but this toaster makes terrible toast. Not worth it. [RMNB]

• The St. Louis Blues' bid to keep Blackhawks fans out of their arena didn't work. Chicago fan presence was still pretty noticeable. Lesson: hockey fans are like cats. Shut a door, and it's the only room they want to be in. [CSN Chicago]

• Great story from Katie Baker on Jon Cooper, lawyer turned Lightning coach. [Grantland]

• Claude Julien, on Patrick Roy and the Avalanche coming to Boston: "I spent the last couple of "off" days solidifying the glass between the benches" [Joe Haggerty]

• Senior hockey player Matt Sorisho severely injured his spinal cord after hitting the boards back-first while playing for a Michigan D-League all-star team. [Detroit Free Press]

• Florida governor Rick Scott announces the Governor's Cup, an attempt to actually create a rivalry between the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Florida Panthers. [Lightning]

• Think the Jaguars can beat the Broncos this weekend? If so, the FHL's Danbury Whalers might give you one Hell of a prize package. Looking at this package, which is amazing, I think it's safe to say they're pretty confident they're not gonna have to award it. [Danbury Whalers]

• What's better? Playing to win or playing not to lose? [Shutdown Line]

• Filip Forsberg scores his first goal as a Predator. He's well on his way to making that look like a pretty bad trade. [CSN Washington]

• The Bruins have some interesting decisions to make on their blueline in the next couple of seasons. [Bruins Daily]

• Frans Nielsen has been fined $5000 for slashing Martin Hanzal. [NHL]

• Researchers at a Mayo Clinic conference on concussions in hockey have called for a ban on fighting at all levels of the sport. What a bunch of wusses these highly-respected doctors and researchers are, amirite? [NY Times]

• Speaking of fighting, great stuff from Jeff Marek on the polarizing debate surrounding it. [Sportsnet]

• Meet John Viola, son of new Panthers' owner Vinnie Viola, and maybe future owner himself. [Sun Sentinel]

• The ice conditions in Pittsburgh leave a lot to be desired, say a bunch of anonymous Penguins. [Post Gazette]

• This guy's in the running for hockey fan of the year. He rules.