Now that many elite NFL players have broken down the stigma of "adult protective undergarments" with their Depend endorsements (we recently spoke to Wes Welker, Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware on this very subject), a new NFL topic has been making the rounds: How do players deal with it when they're in the middle of a game, and nature calls at a DEFCON level? Per Yahoo!'s own Jeff Passan, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim's Jered Weaver dealt with this issue as he was twirling his no-hitter Wednesday night, but it's a bit easier when you have the breakup of innings to deal with what must be dealt with.
Speaking with ESPN's Dan LeBatard on Wednesday, Welker confirmed a story told to LeBatard by Zach Thomas of the Miami Dolphins. The All-Pro receiver revealed that former New England Patriots teammate Larry Izzo once dealt with a No. 2 issue in his own no-nonsense fashion -- and earned a game ball for his trouble because he did so without anybody noticing.
"This is 100 percent true," Welker said. "And Larry would be so mad at me if I said that this didn't happen, because he takes ultimate pride in this whole deal. Of all the special teams tackles and Pro Bowls he's made, I guarantee you that game ball is probably a more prized item for him than his Super Bowl rings."
Asked how Izzo managed to get away with it, Welker made it very simple: "Because he's Izzo! It's what he does. I'm telling you -- the guy is phenomenal! The only time I see Larry is when he comes out of the bathroom to get a clothes hanger. He has issues. He takes, like, eight Red Bulls, and all these supplements to try and get ready for the game. He's just phenomenal."
Welker also spoke about the "insane" toilet in Tom Brady's house. "First off, it's heated. And then, it has a wand that comes up and sprays you. And then, it has a dryer, too. What else do you want? It's like, 'Tom -- you home? I need to stop off for 15-20 minutes.'"
Of course, when we spoke to Welker, we couldn't resist asking if Depend might team with the NFL to solve this problem. "I joked about that -- wearing them before games, because I'm always over there, peeing on the sidelines. Might as well just throw these bad boys on and let 'er rip."
Clay Matthews also hypothesized to us that Nike should build something practical into the new NFL uniforms, but that's a sartorial subject for another time.