A cockroach was seen scurrying off the field Monday night in Dallas, presumably because he was sick of watching the Washington Redskins and Dallas Cowboys play a field goal battle and wanted to beat stadium traffic on the way home:
It was a star-turning performance from the scavenging insect. During his time on the field, he (we're assuming it's a he) outperformed a number of players who actually took part in the game. They were, in no particular order of ineptitude:
1. Phil Costa, Cowboys center -- Costa set a new "Monday Night Football" record in Week 3 for "most times yelled at on camera by quarterback." I lost count around four or five, but every time Costa sailed a ball over Romo or snapped it too early, he got an earful. It didn't matter much; the balls always bounced right back to a player with a star on his helmet and one ill-timed botch led to the Cowboys' game-saving third-and-21 conversion.
2. Sav Rocca, Redskins holder -- But not Sav Rocca, Redskins punter, because that dude can boom. His placeholding abilities, on the other hand, are straight Romoian.
3. Tony Romo, Cowboys quarterback -- Sure, he threw the big pass on third-and-21 but he did while wearing a Kevlar vest. A cockroach's body is its own Kevlar vest. Get with the program, Romo.
4. DeAngelo Hall, Redskins cornerback -- Even though the cockroach wasn't playing in the game or wearing a helmet, DeAngelo Hall would have found a way to give up two catches and 47 yards to the insect anyway.
5. Rex Grossman, Redskins quarterback -- The cockroach had a better chance of outrunning Anthony Spencer than Grossman did on that game-ending fumble.
6. ESPN crew -- They didn't mention the cockroach's appearance (the shading was ours) or even show a replay of it. Seeing as how they didn't do much mentioning of on-field plays or showing replays of them, this wasn't a surprise. Watching ESPN do MNF is like watching a kindergarten class perform Mozart's "Requiem." It's a great, historic production being run into the ground by shoddy execution, poor on-air performances and that one kid who talks too much. If you watch football to see random, various cutaways to fans in the stands and to hear scripted commentary that doesn't address what's happening on the field, then the MNF broadcast is the right one for you. If seeing good replays and hearing breakdowns of the game at hand are what you want, sorry bub, here's some more rubbish about Tony Romo's heroism on a night when his team scored no touchdowns and a cockroach we aren't going to show you because that might actually be entertaining.
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