You know the old saying: "Idle hands are the devil's playthings." The hands of Tim Tebow have been very idle of late, as he's been used sparingly by the New York Jets thus far this season.
And if the saying is true, the devil's gotten pretty creative with where he'd like Tebow's hands to be. Manhattan's Museum of Sex has reached out to Tebow to offer him a lifetime membership.
Tebow, as you likely know, is a virgin and is saving himself for marriage. For some reason, this makes every sex-related organization in the world want to attach themselves to his name. A New York strip club extended him a public invitation. A website that encourages extra-marital affairs offered $1 million to anyone with proof that they've slept with Tebow. And now the Museum of Sex is getting in line.
I'd offer you a link to the Museum of Sex's website, but I don't want you to get fired. What kind of place is it? Well, it's the kind of place that requires a sign that reads, "Please do not touch, lick, stroke or mount the exhibits."
If Tebow's going to take museum officials up on their membership offer, they're going to have to change the sign to read, "Please do not touch, lick, stroke, mount, or overthrow the exhibits by 10 yards." But I don't think they're going to have to worry about that. My guess is that Tim Tebow will pass on the generous offer.
Click below to read the letter the Museum of Sex sent Tebow.
Dear Mr. Tebow:
We would like to welcome you to New York City area with a lifetime membership to the Museum of Sex. While we completely respect your choice to forgo having sex until after marriage, we hope you visit the Museum of Sex to learning more about the history, evolution, and cultural significance of human sexuality.
Enclosed please find your lifetime membership card along with an overview of 10 key health benefits of safe sex. Some of the health benefits of safe sex include higher levels of antibodies boosting immunity, reduction of pain, better sleep, stress reduction, and better self-esteem. All issues that could certainly help you maintain a healthy advantage in the upcoming Jets football season.
Your "Lifetime Membership" includes:
• One personalized Museum of Sex Lifetime Membership card
• Discounted prices for events and lectures
• 10% discount on additional tickets
• 10% discount at the museum store
• 10% discount at the museum bar
Please present your membership card when visiting the museum to receive your discounts. Welcome aboard as a Lifetime Member of the Museum of Sex and we wish you a successful 2012 season with the New York Jets.
Gracias, Animal New York.
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