The St. Louis Rams will set a world record for fake mustaches

Shutdown Corner

In celebration of their new head coach Jeff Fisher and his legendary lip fur, the St. Louis Rams will attempt in Week 1 to set the world record for the most fake mustaches worn in one place at one time.

Happy day for you, ladies of St. Louis.

The Rams will be handing out fake Jeff Fisher-style mustaches at their home opener against the Redskins. A quick search of the Guinness website turns up nothing in the way of mustache records, but the fine Rams blog Turf Show Times says that the current world record is just 227.

The Edward Jones Dome has a football capacity of 66,965, so with even moderate participation, they'll crush the record. Also according to Turf Show Times, the Rams are all set with the proper documentation to pass along to Guinness to get the record officially in the books, so unless there's some kind of mustache revolt before then, or Jeff Fisher commits some unthinkable crime, the Rams should be set to go.

The only snag I can see is that Jeff Fisher is going with a goatee these days.

As you probably know, a mustache does not count as a goatee, as they are clearly included in different categories at the National Beard and Mustache Championships. And when a mustache grows into a goatee, it loses approximately 71 percent of its awesomeness. I'm sorry, Jeff Fisher. It's science.

Hopefully, the Rams can get to Fisher and get him to shave off that lesser lower half before the regular season starts. A goatee is fine for the preseason, but when the games start counting, Jeff Fisher has to step up his mustache game. Ask Steve Spagnuolo what a goatee gets you.

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