Ridiculous survey: Married women would rather have an affair with Eli Manning than Tom Brady

Shutdown Corner

As part of our ongoing hard-hitting coverage of Super Bowl XLVI, we bring you this important news: The married ladies surveyed by AshleyMadison.com say they'd prefer to have an affair with Eli Manning over Tom Brady, by a margin of 54 percent to 46 percent.

It's not a huge margin of victory, but this time of year, there's no such thing as winning ugly.

Much like in the actual Super Bowl, I'd have thought Tom Brady would've been a favorite here. He's got the dashing good looks ‒ and that's not even my subjective opinion. Brady's a spokesman for fashionable Ugg boots. He's done the magazine spreads holding baby goats. He landed the world's hottest supermodel. These are not things that happen to people who look like Quasimodo.

But Eli got the W anyway. The guy just wins. Here's the lame explanation as to why:

In fact, 54% of married women polled said that they'd rather have a dalliance with Manning because of his to his "boy next door" good looks, according to the adultery-promoting company.

Philandering females said they thought Manning would be "less of a hothead" than Brady and easier to relate to.

You want to know why so many married women prefer Eli to Handsome Tom? I'll tell you why.

And yes, we do have a female writer we could ask. The great Maggie Hendricks is around, but she writes about the NFL and MMA, and to ask her to do a "Which QB is hotter?" post would be insulting and sexist. So I'm going to tell you which QB is hotter. It's going to get weird for all of us, and I'll probably be wrong about everything I say, but that's what's about to happen.

Here's why Eli's your winner: These are married women that were surveyed. Handsome Tom represents the playboy; the guy who can go out, lock the smoldering bedroom eyes on any sweet thing of his choosing, and the deal is all but sealed. Tom's the ladykiller. Tom brings home supermodels.

Eli, on the other hand, comes straight home after work. He looks less threatening, at least from a "he might go sleep with someone else" standpoint. He looks like a man who just wants to come home, watch his cartoons, have some macaroni and cheese, and play some Chutes and Ladders before bedtime.

Now, none of this may be reality, but it is the perception. And again, we're talking about married women here. They're more likely to value the security and stability (also, we're talking about broad, sweeping generalizations here).

I believe Gisele's a factor, too. She's a supermodel, and most women don't want to follow a supermodel. They fear the comparison. Note that Eli married well, himself; it's just not as well-publicized.

Ladies, go ahead and chime in below in the comments. I'm curious to see which way you're going on this one.

Gracias, Larry Brown Sports.

Other popular content on the Yahoo! network:
Wetzel: Rob Lowe's tweet sparks feud between Peyton Manning and Colts owner
Cagewriter: Hackers target UFC boss Dana White for supporting SOPA
ThePostGame: George Clooney's bewildering Olympic ticket dilemma
The Ticket: GOP rivals spar over immigration in Florida

What to Read Next