We'd like to apologize in advance for this one. Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has foisted some unfortunate things upon the world -- Quincy Carter, Chad Hutchinson, and Dave Campo's mullet perm immediately come to mind -- but it's going to be hard to top the local commercial Jerrah recently did for the Papa John's pizza franchise.
Jones actually has a pretty decent stake in the company -- he acquired six franchises in the Austin, Texas, area in 2005 under the "Star Papa" umbrella, and now, there's this. According to the Austin Business Journal, Star Papa owned 78 such restaurants in Texas with those acquisitions, and had 75 in early 2011, when Jones hosted Super Bowl XLV at Cowboys Stadium. Jones has Papa John's pizza all over that stadium, and he makes a cut of every slice you buy.
Jones started buying up Papa John's franchises in 2004, when the company was in financial trouble. "We're talking about going from millions and millions of dollars negative to millions and millions of dollars positive," John Schnatter, the company's founder, chairman and co-chief executive said of Jones' franchises a few days before that Super Bowl. "He's by far the most talented businessman I've ever met."
Well, yeah. But as a rapper ... Jones is going to have to practice to get up to Weird Al Yankovic level, and Weird Al's a pretty good businessman, too.