Pacman Jones: Convicted felon and cop-biter

For most people, a day in which it's revealed that you bit a police officer's hand and were dubbed a convicted felon probably wouldn't be considered a good day. But most people are not Pacman Jones.

Pac got three years of probation for a charge of obstructing a police officer in 2006, which isn't necessarily good news, however, it was Pac's last pending criminal charge, and now that it's settled, Pac can walk around today with the knowledge that he's not going to prison. Woo-hoo! I wonder where he'll go to celebrate, Pure Gold's Crazy Horse, or Dejá Vu.

His lawyer and the DA disagreed, though, on what the settlement meant. The DA says Pacman's now officially a convicted felon, while Pacman's lawyer says it means so such thing. To tell you the truth, I don't think the distinction will make that much of a difference in the image people have of Pacman Jones.

The DA also gave this bit of information on Pacman's obstruction charge:

"Pacman bit him. If you open up your hand, that space between the thumb and pointer finger, that little skin there, that's where the officer was bit."

In fairness to Pacman, police reports do state that the officer's hand looked especially delicious that day.

Still, it's a bad idea. If you want to bite someone, Pac, don't make it a cop, because that can lead to you being a convicted felon. Bite someone at the strip club. There, you just have to pay a little extra.

• Suspended cornerback settles last criminal charge, gets probation / Yahoo! Sports

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