In the 1990s, "Miami Vice" star Philip Michael Thomas coined the term EGOT when referring to his goal of winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony award during his career in show business. It looks like Buffalo Bills linebacker Aaron Maybin(notes) is going for a sort of reverse EGOT. Already dubbed the worst player in the NFL, Maybin is now attempting to become the worst rapper alive as well. Bad at ball and hip-hop? Let's call it the BAHH.
The Bills' first-round pick in 2009 hasn't played much this season and the only potential he's shown is in being a historic draft bust. But that didn't stop him from releasing on his website a rap song in which he boasts about his on- and off-field prowess. You can listen to the track, "Mayhem Maybin," at the linebacker's official website. Read the lyrics here. Below, we breakdown some of his rhymes:
Mayhem Maybin. Quarterback cravin/go hard, crazy/
defensive Wes Craven/the o-line can't save him.
I bet he is craving the quarterback because it's been so long since he's hit one. Maybin hasn't played since Week 3 and has been listed as a healthy scratch since then, which is a nice way of saying he's been benched. He has zero career sacks. Also, what does defensive Wes Craven mean? Is Maybin directing mediocre, defensive horror movies? Defensive Freddy Kruger; that would make sense. Sort of.
You go hard, he go harder/not fair, Sergeant Slaughter
The Bills bought him/Joe taught him
Don't quote me on this, but I'm going wager that this is the first time Joe Paterno has been name-dropped on a rap song. (Though the Penn State coach is so old he could have been referenced on a Cole Porter track.) Bonus points for the Sergeant Slaughter line though.
Combat like contact/that new Nike contract
Ciroque sipper, stocked colder/super star rock n' roller
Does Maybin really have an endorsement deal with Nike? I couldn't find anything about it. Maybe he's referring to the two-for-one deal he got on socks at the Nike Factory Outlet in Niagra Falls.
Endorsement deal, Nike now/Buffalo wipe me down
See I'm rushing, that goal to blitz/show the pinky ring, let him know I'm rich
Making a rap song doesn't mean you don't care about football. Michael Jordan made "Space Jam," Kobe Bryant rapped a little and the Bears did the Super Bowl Shuffle in the midst of an 18-1 season. So I don't want to read too much into Maybin's lyrics or decision to make a song. He doesn't need to be a football player 24 hours a day. Better to make a rap song rather than some other things that NFL players have partaken in recently, (Michael Vick(notes)).
That being said, this song gives a little bit of insight into why Maybin's been riding the bench. He sounds like the sort of player who thinks that his college successes and high draft position give him a birthright to being a star in the NFL. He's Mayhem Maybin. He's got the contract, the Nike deal and the pinky ring to show how good he is. Who needs two-a-days when your fridge is stocked with Ciroque?
As a football player, Maybin's not a bad rapper. As a rapper, Maybin's not a bad football player. He'd be better off concentrating on the one that pays the bills, though.