It's media day! It's media day!

If you haven't heard much about the Super Bowl's media day, by the end of the afternoon, you're going to be so sick of it that you'll spend about four hours this evening watching Lifetime movies starring Meredith Baxter Birney just to cleanse the barrage of media day coverage from your skull.

Here's why I'm not going to media day: You've got a bunch of athletes and coaches who are clearly miserable, and want only to get out of the day without having said anything inflammatory or noteworthy. Around them, you'll have a lot of normal, well-intentioned media people (assuming they don't get killed en route) collecting quotes of little interest and paying more attention to the spectacle of the event.

And the event is a spectacle, because in the past few years, it's been overrun by faux media people who either 1) just want to get noticed themselves, so they show up wearing something like an oversized diaper and a hat made of dill pickles while sticking a microphone in someone's face ... 2) come from TV shows and publications that have nothing to do with sports and are going to ask Mike Vrabel (who they'd never heard of before yesterday) questions like, "If Paris Hilton was on your team, what position would you want her to play?" ... or 3) are the ultra-clever types who just show up and "spoof" the whole thing, much to the delight of the panel on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period."

So, because of all that, I'm not going.

Also, I'm not invited.

Besides, all the Giants have the flu, and I'd hate to spend the rest of the week in my hotel room puking because I got too close to Amami Toomer.

But I'm heading out now, and I'm going to try to find some Giants and Patriots fans out there (this is not as easy as you'd think) to be unwitting participants in Athletic Supporter Bowl XLII. It doesn't look promising, but I'll see what I can find.

• Some Giants Have the Fever, Literally / Hartford Courant
• Super Bowl Week: Too Many Bus Riders, Not Enough Bus Drivers / FanHouse

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