Point of clarification: If Jerry Jones says that you're "not worth a [expletive]", it means he likes you. We shudder to think of the verbal carnage he spews to the people he doesn't like.
The Dallas Cowboys owner made this known Thursday night at a fundraiser in the wake of the release of a secretly shot video that showed him badmouthing Bill Parcells. Jones said that when he said his former coach wasn't "worth a [expletive]" that he meant it as a sarcastic term of endearment:
"Bill, first of all, is a real friend of mine. He is a great football coach. He probably has as good or better people skills than anybody I ever met. I have complete trust in him.
"The actual way I express myself is commonly known by my associates as a familiar, caring term of endearment, as you will. If I say to somebody that you're not worth a flip, then that means I think you're pretty good, certainly if I follow up with, I love you."
"I certainly don't and wouldn't use four-letter words in anything that would be involved in the media or for people of all ages to hear. The other thing that I would be careful about is any wit or attempt at wit or humor or attempt at humor. But that's just not what you're thinking about when you're having a social moment."
I like that Jones didn't apologize for the comments because, really, there was no reason to. Sure, that excuse was the drunken smack-talking equivalent of "the dog ate my homework," but seeing as how the story got so much national play, Jones was forced to make public comments about it.
Parcells said he didn't mind the comments. "I think he was just pulling some guy's leg," he said. "I'm not upset with it at all. He didn't mean it."
Jones made no mention of his other target, Tim Tebow, during his remarks Thursday night. Guess there's still no need for Tebow to start looking for real estate in Dallas.