Throw out the records, statistics and divisional standings when the third-place Jacksonville Jaguars and last-place San Diego Chargers play on "Monday Night Football." This is gonna be a smash-mouth AFC battle and I can't wait.
Philip Rivers -- The only guy who's more successful in December lives up at the North Pole. I bet if you looked up the numbers, you'd see that Philip Rivers has one of the best records of any quarterback in the National Football League during the final five weeks of the season. He's a competitor, Mike, and we can talk about his arm strength or his poise or his ability to read blitzes in the A gap, but what I love about this guy the most is that he hates to lose. Philip Rivers hasn't quite been Philip Rivers this year, but if I know Philip Rivers, I'd say Philip Rivers is capable of becoming Philip Rivers and guiding the Chargers sleigh right to the playoffs. Philip Rivers.
Maurice Jones-Drew -- When I think of Maurice Jones-Drew, I think of one word: Fast and consistency. All this guy does is run for 1,000 yards, get into the end zone a handful of times and carry a team on his shoulders for weeks at a time. And if there's a nicer guy in the National Football League right now, I haven't met him.
Norv Turner -- People wanna say this guy can't coach? Well there's three guys I know named Mr. Aikman, Mr. Smith and Mr. Irvin who would beg to differ.
Blaine Gabbert -- I call this guy Alan Thicke because he has a great head of hair and has been experiencing some "Growing Pains." With a new coach, I expect Blaine Gabbert to revitalize his season. Show me that smile, Blaine.
That New Yorker piece -- Yeah, they got me on the pages of that "New Yorker" MAG-a-zine this week. Now, I'm no great intellectual, believe me, but that publication is the real deal. Lemme tell ya, I had fact-checkers calling me three times a day before that story came out. Good thing we don't have 'em for this broadcast, eh, Jaws? (Laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.)