Fake Jon Gruden analyzes Monday night’s Packers-Vikings game

Chris Chase

Fake Jon Gruden breaks down Monday night's National Football League matchup between the undefeated Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings.

Aaron Rodgers -- Let me tell ya, if there was a vote right now, this guy would be the u-nan-i-mous Most Valuable Player of the National Football League. He does it all! He's got the arm, he's got the legs, he's got the swag, like Charles Woodson says. And he does it while keeping a whole roster of receivers happy! He loves those guys, Mike. He's like the character on that HBO show with all the wives, keeping everybody satisfied by dishing out a little here and there. It's the sky's the limit here in Titletown U.S.A.

Adrian Peterson -- We know he's fast, but have you seen this guy jump? He'd leap right outta the gym! What an athlete.

Brett Favre -- This guy is ageless, Jaws! Not only is he playing like a kid out there, he's looking like one. Just like a fresh-faced rookie, Favre replaced Donovan McNabb three weeks ago and came in and almost beat the de-fend-ing Super Bowl champions Green Bay Packers. Then he went out one week later and knocked off the No. 1 draft pick in this year's draft, Cam Newton! What a warrior! [Indistinct off-camera chatter.] Wait, Christian who?

Jared Allen -- Jared Allen brings it. And not just on the field, whoo, I'll tell ya, when we met with him on Saturday, that guy was as fired up as he is when he comes out of that tunnel. He's on pace to break the single-season record for most sacks held by number 92 himself, Michael Strahan. If he can get to Aaron Rodgers tonight and his defense can eliminate the big plays, first downs, gains of positive yardage and surrendering of points, shoot, they'll have a good shot of winning this game.