The Doc Five: Coaches who would make good WWE wrestlers – No. 5, Bret Bielema

Dr. Saturday

This offseason we will count down various topics from Monday through Friday, bringing you the top five of the important and definitely some not so important issues in college football. It's the Doc Five, every week until we will thankfully have actual games to discuss.


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Kevin Sumlin has a WWE belt now, but he will not make this list. The Texas A&M coach didn't even hit the Big Show with a steel chair after he dissed the Aggies.

But it got us to thinking, there are plenty of coaches who would have gone upside Big Show's head (and probably got choke slammed, but still) for calling them out. We've got five coaches that, if the whole football thing doesn't work out, can easy transition into the world of professional wrestling.

After all, you think Bielema would have backed down from the Big Show? No way. He's the same guy that fights back with Twitter trolls, something you surely won't see other coaches doing. Here's an example:

He's a natural at this. Give him a microphone in front of a crowd of fans throwing empty cups in the ring at him, and he'd handle it just fine.

Heel or face?
Heel (bad guy, in wrestling terms), for sure. He already turned on Barry Alvarez, blindsiding him long after the bell when he unexpectedly left to Arkansas. The crowd for a WWE Raw taping in Madison wouldn't be too civil.

Natural wrestling rival
"Mr. Perfect" Urban Meyer. Of course.

Best old school wrestler comparison
Let's go with Hacksaw Jim Duggan. For those who didn't grow up during the time when the WWE was known as the WWF and Hulk Hogan was more than a reality TV show star, Duggan was kind of a wild man who came to the ring with a 2x4, for reasons that still don't make sense, and his signature was calling out "Hooooooo!" to the crowd randomly. Insert Bielema calling the hogs. Duggan was a kind of loveable goof, and Bielema is kind of a loveable (outside of Wisconsin) goof too. If Bielema would stop cutting his hair and grow out a beard, we have a match.

Finishing move
After two Rose Bowl losses in a row, he wouldn't have one. Oh wait, maybe something where Bielema mismanages the clock and the bell rings before he can jump off the top rope.

Check back tomorrow for No. 4, and likely a few Iron Sheik references.

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