Video: Tim Duncan is friends with 10,000 women

Onion SportsDome

It's a well-known story that Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have bedded 20,000 women in his life. No matter that the figure was apocryphal and the result of shoddy math -- the legend is what counts more than anything. It's one of the greatest moments in the long history of NBA self-mythologizing, up there with Earl Manigault picking quarters of the backboard, Michael Jordan jumping to the moon, and Matt Bonner really liking sandwiches.

For the most part, Tim Duncan(notes) doesn't do much in the way of self-promotion. His brand is effectively being really good at basketball and being a nice dude, which has made him a frustrating superstar for the fact that he's barely marketable as one of the league's best players.

That's why this video from the borderline geniuses at Onion SportsDome is so funny. Because, even though this is obviously fiction, it seems somewhat possible that the Big Fundamental would publish an autobiography wherein he brags about becoming friends with 10,000 women. And who wouldn't? Platonic companionship is sometimes even better than romantic love!