Hey, are you in need of something that is the greatest to get you through the remainder of your Thursday afternoon as you wait for a Miami Heat-Indiana Pacers game that will all but certainly kill your soul? WORRY NOT, FELLOW TRAVELER! I have just the thing for you: Dancing!
And not mere "tomato-soup-awaiting, Siri-spurred" dancing — real dancing. From the mean streets of Springfield, Va., where it seems there ain't ish to do but cook or create dances dedicated to Washington Wizards rookie guard Shelvin Mack and venerable multi-team guard of the '90s Robert Pack. Behold:
This unbridled brilliance comes to us from Springfield's Ryan Kopf, 23, who has apparently been doing this sort of thing since he was knee-high to a shoefly, and does it pretty often. From the fantastic Sarah Kogod of the Washington Post's venerable D.C. Sports Bog:
"It started when I was real little," he told me. "I started making little songs on my computer. I would put the names of Redskins and Wizards — well, Bullets then — in the songs because I was such a fan. Two years ago, my brother asked me to start up again because he thought they were funny."
He doesn't take it too seriously, using the name D.J. Bunyan (inspired by a childhood nickname) and making up a dance move specific to each player's name. There are also videos for Redskins Chris Neild (Da Neildy Beat) and Niles Paul (Niles Mafia) as well as the Wizards' Cartier Martin.
"I definitely didn't want to do the stars on the team because they're too mainstream," Kopf explained. "I wanted to give the unsung heroes a shoutout."
Definitely. Seems like the only reasonable thing to do. Really looking forward to seeing that Cartier Martin dance, as well as a Chris Singleton-themed dance that integrates his lottery ticket expenditure and a Kevin Seraphin two-step that requires the dancer to pantomime taking his shorts off.
Just so long as D.J. Bunyan (inspired by a childhood nickname) doesn't take things too seriously. It'd be easy to start taking these dances very, very seriously, so I just hope he can avoid that obvious, wide-open pitfall. Let's keep our fingers crossed.