Elton Brand kicks a soccer ball off Mike Dunleavy Jr.’s face (VIDEO)

My expert soccer analysis: Nice service from Salomon Kalou, but an ambitious first touch by Elton Brand. Like, very ambitious. Like, a whole Blonde Ambition Tour's worth of ambition. And poor Mike Dunleavy Jr. pays the price.

Look on the bright side, though, Li'l Dun. If you are going to be physically abused in an embarrassing way by someone, it might as well be in Steve Nash's "Showdown in Chinatown" charity soccer game by a former college teammate that you actually like, rather than during an NBA game by a pro teammate/former college rival on whom you'd later lay a flagrant that would eventually lead to a bench-clearing "brawl."

Plus, this will never be as bad a facial as the one Shelden Williams famously gave himself. And you didn't flop; you took the hit like a champ and stood tall. So you've got that going for you, Mike.

That said, I'm having a really hard time envisioning an NBA player who is a more appropriate subject for this kind of story — I think Mike Dunleavy Jr. is easily the most "hit in the face by a soccer ball" player in today's NBA. Who else would be in the running? Please let me know your answer — SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY — in the comments, on Facebook or on Twitter. This is basically the reason social media was invented.

Video via Kick TV. Hat-tip to SBNation.com's Matt Ufford.

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