Create-a-Caption: ‘It’s OK, little man, don’t cry — I’ll help you learn how to play defense’

"But how, Mistew Unibwow? Your New Owweans Hownets finished thiwd fwom the bottom of the weague in points awwowed pew 100 possessions wast yeaw, accowding to's stat toow, and you wet opponents shoot bettew than 47 pewcent from the floow in the pwocess."

"Well ... yeah. But, um, that was last year. You know, we're the New Orleans Pelicans now!"

"I know. I saw youw unifowms. A widdle bwand, no?"

"... So, anyway, this is how you get in a defensive stance."

Best caption wins a trip to Tony Allen's camp, where this sort of impudent conversation has consequences. Good luck.

In our last adventure, lo those many moons ago: Mike Miller and Shaquille O'Neal scoff at suggestions that the former will be amnestied and the latter will be inaccurately quoted in Reader's Digest. That's what you call a real "double whoops."

Winner, Russell S: Mike Miller couldn't help but laugh; he just heard there's a "Kazaam 2" in the works.

Runner-up, Larry B: Mike Miller has learned a few tricks from the old people living in Miami — If you have no idea what a person just said, just laugh and pretend you heard everything loud and clear.

Second runner-up, EJ: Mike Miller laughs as Shaq shamelessly plugs for the IcyHot patch to fix Miller's bum elbow.

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