Hey, it might be a step down from making nearly $6 million a year, but there are worse jobs than being a sidekick, Mike Miller. Ed McMahon did pretty well for himself "You are correct, sir"-ing Johnny Carson for all those years, and plenty of people love Andy Richter at least as much as they do Conan O'Brien. Hell, Tonto even gets top billing in the new "Lone Ranger" movie. It can be a pretty sweet gig if you play your cards right.
Then again, if the only option is being Shaquille O'Neal's sidekick, you might want to hold off on retirement for another year or two. Unless you're eager to dive headfirst into the deep end of a comedy pool chlorinated by underwear gooves and buttface zings, that is. If you are, then go right ahead. I'm sure the water's warm enough that if you put your college roommate's hand in it, he'd pee his pants, resulting in a totally viral clip hosted on the Comedy Shaq Network.
What do you think Miller and Shaq are yukkin' it up over? Best caption wins "Sidekicks," the 1992 film starring Chuck Norris and Jonathan Brandis (not really, but you should totally watch this). Good luck.
In our last adventure: Now you've done it — you've shocked Boris Diaw.
Winner, Legend Killer: "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!"
NOTE: Need a Create-a-Caption winner? Why not Zoidberg?
Runner-up, Russell S: Boris Diaw is shocked! — SHOCKED! — to see what Ty did to his house on "Extreme Makeover: NBA Finals Edition."
Second runner-up, D: Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?