We established Monday morning that my introduction to defense wasn't the smoothest, but I'm pretty sure "keep your eyes on his waist" is something you're supposed to do on that end of the floor rather than when you're handling the ball, Jeremy Lin. That's just bad fundamentals. Pffffft. Some Harvard genius you are.
Also, dribbling headlong into a defender's midsection without a real plan of how you're going to get to the rim? That's Amar'e Stoudemire's job. Quit being such a biter, Jeremy.
Best caption wins some X-Ray specs, which the New York Knicks' point guard clearly could have used here. (Not to be confused with some X-Ray Spex, which we all could use pretty much all the time.) Good luck.
Winner, Al: Kareem tries his hand at charades. The word? Ballpoint pen.
NOTE: Few things feel better than coming back from an extended C-a-C hiatus to find a Dad Joke this solid waiting for you. Thanks, Al from Cicero, Ill.!
Runner-up, Vaffanculo: He's so good, he can autograph the ball just by spinning it ... with the cap still on.
Second runner-up, Dave: Kareem displays the type of mentoring Shaq missed out on.