I know, DeAndre Jordan. Your Los Angeles Clippers go out and set a franchise record for wins — 52 and counting, after Wednesday's 111-95 victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves — and win a division title for the first time in franchise history, and all we can talk about is A) how shaky it all seems and B) how the Los Angeles Lakers, who you just beat by 14 and swept 4-0 this season, are trying to fight their way to an eighth seed. I hear you — it's totally unfair.
My suggestion: Make an even deeper run in this year's playoffs than you did last year, which will show everyone that you're for real and without-a-doubt more relevant than your fellow Staples Center tenants. That should get the conversation appropriately directed toward you guys ... for about five seconds, before we go back to talking about Kobe, Dwight, D'Antoni and Pau.
Best caption wins earplugs, which have to be more effective than your fingers. Good luck.
In our last adventure: I mean, it worked out OK this time, but still, you should say no when Greg Stiemsma asks if you want to see his "gum trick."
Winner, Celts Fan: Greg does his best to end up on the big screen for the first time all season.
Runner-up, Thomas: "Look coach, I can walk and chew gum at the same time. How about some more minutes?"
Second runner-up, Thelionelking: This is the most aerobic exercise Greg Stiemsma gets in a typical game.