Over the past few seasons, some very notable NBA free agencies have earned expressive nicknames: Dwight Howard's Dwightmare of 2011, Carmelo Anthony's Melodrama of 2010, and the so-cataclysmic-that-it-could-only-get-a-boring-title Summer of 2010. Next summer, all-world point guard Chris Paul will become a free agent, which has many observers and general managers wondering where he'll end up. Will the Los Angeles Clippers prove enough to keep him long-term? Or will another suitor win him over?
Paul, for his part, does not want to turn this process into another distraction. Nothing will be drawn out — instead, he'll evaluate things at the end of the season and make a decision, without goofy puns. From Scott Howard-Cooper for NBA.com:
Chris Paul insists he does not need a fancy title for his upcoming free agency. No catchy name, and certainly not his own climate. This will not be another nine-month long searing migraine of fans in agony, the media tripping over itself and the Clippers being on the clock to find a trade, or else. Not if Paul has anything to say about it.
"At the end of the season, I'll evaluate everything. But it's no secret. Everybody knows I love it here," Paul said. "I love our team, I love everything that's going on."
This move makes sense, and not just in terms of what a protracted decision-making process would mean to Paul's public image. As a pending free agent, he holds all the leverage. At the same time, he knows that the Clippers have a chance to be very good this year and doesn't want to waste that opportunity. If things go poorly, he can always change teams in the offseason. If they go well, then he has a suitable home.
However, Paul is also leaving a very great opportunity for puns on the table. With that in mind, here are some very smart, not-at-all stupid suggestions for what we can call the run-up to his free agency:
1. The Apaulcalypse
2. Paul's Well That Ends Well
3. Christopher Palu's Project Runway
4. A Whiter Shade of Paul
5. Better Call Paul
6. Kids in the Paul
7. Shopping Paul
9. Legends of the Paul
10. Paul Me Maybe
Try out your own in the comments. If we do enough of these, we can probably convince Chris Paul to be really annoying and immature, just like those who have come before him.