C-a-C: Kemba Walker reveals his shocking secret affiliation

I think we all appreciate your candor, Kemba Walker, but I have to be honest — I'm not sure how well your fellow members of the Secret Society of Happy People are going to take it.

I mean, you remember the rituals (mostly warm-smile-based). The incantations (well, kind compliments, really, but very rigidly tailored). The hazing (basically just dancing to "Step in the Name of Love" until you get tired and have to relax for a while with your friends). These are clearly not the kind of people you should be messing with. Do you really want to open yourself to retribution (slightly smaller and reserved, but still polite, smiles)?

You're a braver man than I am, Kemba Walker.

What's got Kemba so stoked (outside of the obvious fact that smiling is just his favorite)? Best caption wins important scientific information. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Dikembe Mutombo would clearly much, much rather be talking to Duke Phillips.


Winner, Anonymous (but not like the hax0rz, probs): Ted Turner: "I wonder who stole Bradley's custom stolen bike."

Runner-up, Robert C: Turner: "Dickkeyme Mutumbo ... Dikimbay Montana ... Dikembay Marlboro ... can I just call you 'Dickey?'"

Second runner-up, Montez: Turner: "Billy Hunter called. He says that he wants us to come and help with the negotiations."

Mutombo: "I couldn't beat Jordan before. Why does he think I can help now?"

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