2. We've finally figured out what every terrible pickup game needs — Blake Griffin, or a "Blake Griffin type," to turn every ill-advised, confidently heaved long bomb into a sensible pass for a high-percentage shot. Now we just need to find a few thousand "Blake Griffin types" to station at terrible rec centers and playgrounds around the country. Shouldn't be too hard, right?
3. If "D'arryl Drain" — which, props for staying up-to-date with hoops naming conventions, Jordan Brand — was lefty, we'd be congratulating Brandon Jennings for landing a new shot-selection-based endorsement deal so soon after being traded to a top-12 media market. Alas.
4. "This sucks. All I'm doing is shuffling my feet and boxing out unnecessarily. I'm going home." — all other participants in this game
5. "Hey, Old School. You wanna run?" "Nope." Are those shots I hear, Kyrie Irving? I guess Blake's not going to be the third member of Uncle Drew's team, who may or may not actually exist, considering it's been nine months since the Kyrie/Kevin Love Pepsi spot came out and we've heard bupkis about the next installment beyond Irving saying it'll be "out soon." Then again, maybe Old School is really just a cleverly disguised Cody Zeller, and this is all an elaborate crossover mega-event. Can't wait to find out!