Adam Sandler may have been funny in "Billy Madison," "Happy Gilmore" or any other of his numerous movies over the last 15 years. Kevin James may have been funny in "The King of Queens," even though The KoQ followed modern television's sitcom formula to a T. (A dense at times husband with a gorgeous and smart wife and a family member or two added in for comic relief. Hilarity ensues. Sounds like a lot of comedies, eh?)
But that's the past. The command to start engines at Michigan on Sunday was the present, and boy, was that command terrible.
James and Sandler were there to promote their movie "Grown Ups," which also features Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider. However, if you watch any television whatsoever, you already knew that as it seems that the promotional budget for this movie exceeds the GDP of most African nations.
Members of the cast have been at so many sporting events in recent memory that it was a foregone conclusion that they would hit up the NASCAR market before the movie's release. (Which, thankfully, is sooner rather than later.) Heck, it's probably easier to name off the sporting events they haven't attended in the last three weeks than the innumerable ones they have attended.
And it's that ubiquity — combined with the sheer unfunniness of Sunday's "act" — that almost guarantees that "Grown Ups" won't be worth seeing. The four white guys have made a living playing the same basic role in everything they've been in (you know, the one that was reprised before the race), so there's no reason to believe that the movie will depart from that tried and true formula.
It's safe to say that I won't be seeing "Grown Ups" in the near or distant future. I've seen enough of the movie trying to watch sports. Why should I go to the theater and pay $10 to see what I saw on TNT?