Welcome to Warped Wednesday. On this, we'll put out the rush to judgment mat, go a little too far and have a little fun. Will it be funny? Sometimes. Will it be crazy and largely unbelievable? Probably. Will not everyone get it? Definitely.
Sorry fans, NASCAR is going dark.
In response to Sunday's cable camera incident and in a boost to struggling attendance numbers, NASCAR has decided that until a suitable solution has been found, cameras will be banned from all NASCAR tracks.
Yes, that means no television coverage of this weekend's events at Dover and likely longer. A source close to Warped Wednesday said that the process could take a month or more. While the Brickyard 400 has been mentioned as the final line to get NASCAR races back on TV, NASCAR is having internal discussions about extensive cable testing that would push any possible solution into August.
Why? Well, the sanctioning body wants to make sure that another rope doesn't snap and damage cars like it did on Sunday night. After all, the rope that broke was designed to hold exponentially more weight than was distributed on it. Secondly, it would be a great test for Indianapolis' glaring attendance problem. Attendance has fallen sharply at the Brickyard and NASCAR is hoping that depriving the country of television coverage will mean more fans will come to the track.
Why all cameras, and not just cameras attached by ropes? Well, camera lenses are made of glass, and we saw the damage that a rope could do to a car. What would happen if a lens cracked and glass fell on the track and a car suffered a massive tire failure from it? Or what would happen if an entire camera fell? Those are scenarios NASCAR would rather prevent entirely for the time being than take the chance of happening.
Of course, this is a touchy issue because of sponsorship contracts, but NASCAR is confident in this plan. When fans tune in on television, the race audio will be provided by MRN and PRN (depending on the track) and the race will be shown in LEGOs.
NASCAR knows that the radio announcers at MRN and PRN have a knack for making the racing on track infinitely more exciting than it actually is, which will artificially excite viewers and get them thinking about heading to the track the following week. Also, everyone loves LEGO re-enactments of sporting events, so there's potential for millions of YouTube views after the race. The LEGO re-enactments will be a tough task for NASCAR's IMC public relations team, but they have been working around the clock this week to create a LEGO Dover and are confident that the race will be appropriately recreated.