Sometimes, you don't need to get fancy with these posts, you just lay it out there: Dale Earnhardt Jr. is racing Shaquille O'Neal.
OK, some more detail: This race has actually already happened — it was taped last month at Concord Speedway as part of the "Shaq VS" reality show. But nobody was allowed to reveal the details. (Spoiler: They both end up in purgatory at a church.) The race will be aired Tuesday, Aug. 3 at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
For the race, Shaq crammed himself into a stock-car cockpit — no mean feat, considering he's 7-foot-1, 320-plus pounds. (Insert cheap Tony Stewart joke here.) I'm betting it'll be a pretty straightforward little affair. But if Junior were to spin out the Dun Dada, that'd be the best TV ever.