They make it 'cause we buy it: The Dale Jr.-brand pit lizard

No sport offers up a more bewildering array of souvenir crap memorabilia than NASCAR, and They Make It digs deep into the corners of the Internet to bring all that strangeness to light. Today: if you want Dale, you're gonna have to fight for 'im!

The item: The "If you're not Dale, I'm not interested" figurine, $19.99 from Motor Sport Editions.

The deal: Aw, yeah -- nothin' like a Dale Jr. pit lizard for your home! Just make sure to count your bottles of blush wine and bust out the disinfectant when she's gone! Skinnier than Lindsay Lohan after a full lost weekend of binge-and-purge and more spackled up than the stars on three seasons of Nip/Tuck, this high-heeled honey will make you the envy of cougars everywhere! Although I've got to say, this one looks a lot better than the "I ♥ Robby Gordon" and "I ♥ Joe Nemechek" figurines. Man, those two look like they fell off the back of the turnip truck ... while it was going down the highway.

The hat tip: To reader Richard T, who found this in a soap opera magazine but hastily added that he was at the doctor's office for his wife, and that there are hot women in those magazines, and so on, and so on ... whatever, dude. Thanks for bringing us one of the better They Make Its of recent weeks! If you've got some bizarre NASCARiana of your own, hit us up at

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