The Yahoozies: Awards and recap of the Ultimate Fighter premiere

This season of the Ultimate Fighter started out with fewer surprises than last season. The fighters knew they had to fight their way into the house this time. The only surprise was when Phillipe Nover passed out due to the heat. The weigh-ins went according to plan for most fighters. Most fighters, that is, not named Jason Guida. Jason, the brother of UFC fighter Clay, had to cut more than 10 pounds to make the show. He got down to 207.5 when the Nevada State Athletic Commission decided that it would be too dangerous for Guida to cut any more. He was taken to the hospital and Mike Stewart was brought in to replace him.

After the weigh-in madness, the fights began. Spoilers and awards are after the jump.

Krzysztof Soszynski and Antwain Britt both won impressively. Noyer quickly recovered from his fainting spell to choke out Joe Duarte. Lance Evans, Rashad's brother, took himself out of the fight after he broke a rib. In a good match-up between Brian McLaughlin and Brandon Garner, Garner landed an unintentional knee to McLaughlin's head while he was still on the ground. The fight is ruled a no decision, and though the knee was unintentional, someone needed to go home. McLaughlin moved into the house, and Garner headed home. Junie Brownie was winning his match decisively when Jose Aguilar decided to stop fighting.

As the Ultimate Fighter progresses, the morons, comedians and camera hogs will distinguish themselves, and we will be happy to point them out.

Worst Facial Hair: Coach Frank Mir wins this one, by far. Seriously, what is that attached to his chin?

The Jeremy May Award (for outstanding achievement in talking smack but not backing it up): Jose Aguilar, who favorably compares himself to Hitler, and then pulls out of the competition in the middle of the fight because he couldn't take it any more. Honorable mention to Jason Guida, who said he was ready to punch out Anderson Silva and Chuck Liddell, but then didn't make weight for the first fight.

The Nate Quarry/Lucky Bastard Award: Mike Stewart, who made it onto the show only because Guida didn't make weight.

Line of the Night: "Do I think Jose Aguilar could beat me? He has a better chance of getting me pregnant." -- Junie Browning

Submission of the Night (winner gets a subscription to Cat Fancy magazine): Jules Bruchez, who choked out Eric Magee without throwing a punch.

Fight of the Night (winner gets a half-eaten bag of M&M's): Noyer vs. Duarte, which was fast-paced but dominated by Noyer.

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