Happy Birthday to Noguiera, Stankie talks about farts and my desire to learn Portugese grows in this episode of the Ultimate Fighter. Spoilers and awards are after the jump.
After the Junie-Roli fight, everyone was impressed with Roli despite the fact that he lost. Mir is ticked off with the split decision and Junie's conditioning. Junie is disappointed in himself, and Mir reminds him to be smart about drinking.
Mir is excited to have control of the next round. Krystof hurts his thumb when rolling with Elliot but is convinced that he can still fight. (I sense foreshadowing!) At Team Nog's practice, the guys are running frontwards and backwards with arms linked. It looks like a messed up game of Red Rover. Nog says that he tries to keep the practices fun. Mir, on the other hand, is using Wanderlei Silva's technique of breathing through a snorkel while conditioning. They then jump into an ice garbage can, er, ice bath to speed up their recoveries.
The guys cook Nog dinner to help him feel less homesick. Shane Nelson and Vinny Magalhaes show their jealousy by pulling out the homophobic jokes. Classy. At the dinner, Jules tells Nog about how he really wants to fight. He will get his wish and fight Vinny, a very dangerous jiu-jitsu specialist.
Vinny likes to train, train, train and then have fun with the girls. Mir says that he needs to develop his stand-up. Nog is not so impressed. (See the line of the night.) After talking to his team, Nog finds out that Vinny has been talking smack about Nog's BJJ skills. I don't have many rules, but one of them is not to piss off the UFC heavyweight world champion. Apparently, Vinny doesn't follow this rule because Nog tells him, in Portugese, that they are now enemies. Vinny tries to ask for forgiveness, but it's not coming. Vinny tries to kiss up, but still, it's not working. Afterwards, Vinny blames the guys on Team Nog for telling Nog. He's like the guy who hits on his girl's best friend, and then is pissed at the girl's friend for telling her.
Moving on from the seventh grade drama, Jules understands how important this fight is. His strategy is to start with some big punches because Vinny doesn't like to get hit. From the Department of Hyperbole, Shane says that Vinny is one of the best guys on the world on the ground.
To continue the prank war -- really, must we? --Krystof gets a body bag and a headstone for Jules, and lays it out on his bed. Seriously, these pranks are getting old, and we're only on the sixth episode of the season. I hope this doesn't go on forever. Team Nog is impressed by the prank. Haven't any of them ever watched the Office?
The trash talk leading up the fight goes something like this:
Jules: I could win.
Vinny: There is no way I could lose.
Jules: I'll knock him out.
Mir: If Vinny gets submitted, I'm quitting as the coach.
And so on. Onto the fight! Vinny does not go for a takedown immediately, as I expected he would do. He's landing some nice kicks, but they stay on their feet. Jules is fighting tentatively, rigidly bringing his hands back into position after each punch. When Vinny finally takes down Jules, he works a textbook arm submission. (I'd call it a kimura, though Herb Dean calls it an arm bar. What do you think?)
A side note to the editors at Zuffa and the UFC: Please figure out how to edit the show in a way that doesn't let us know how long the fight is going to be based on when it starts in the show. Last week, we knew it was going to be three rounds because it started around the 30-minute mark. Tonight, it's starting at 52, so it didn't take a math genius to figure out that the fight would end in the first round. Be creative and mix it up a little!
Hidden Talents Award: Jules Bruchez and Phillipe the Fainter both bake Nog cakes for his birthday. Awww. That's sweet.
Oops, I Pissed Off the Heavyweight Champ and Hero in my Home Country Award: Vinny Magalhaes
Line of the Night: Nog, who proclaims that Vinny has "Little balls, man."
Line of the Night, Honorable Mention: "Wouldn't it be nice if you would be so good up top that you don't have to go down, get dirty and smell all those farts?" - Al "Stankie" Stankiewicz