Ronda Rousey was so broken by being knocked out by Holly Holm last year that the fighter said she had thoughts of suicide following the bout.
The star fighter made that shocking claim during an emotional interview on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” that airs Tuesday.
“In the medical room, I was down in the corner, I was sitting in the corner and I was like ‘what am I anymore if I’m not this?'” Rousey said as DeGeneres passed her a tissue. “And I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself in that exact second, I’m nothing. Like what do I do anymore? And no one gives an [expletive] about me anymore without this.”
Rousey's quick finishes and sheer dominance in her previous fights catapulted her to the top of popular culture. She landed film roles, magazine covers, endorsement deals and helped push mixed martial arts into the mainstream. But on the night of Nov. 15, Holm brutally halted much of Rousey’s momentum that was built upon her perceived invincibility.
It was assumed that she thought it was the end of the world when she lost. In fact, those assumptions may have been closer to the truth than we imagined.
Fortunately, she says, her contemplation of suicide was short-lived as she focused on her boyfriend, fellow UFC fighter Travis Browne, who was in the room with her.
“I just looked up at him and I was just like I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive.”
Rousey's father committed suicide when she was 8 years old and the mere thought of losing her father may have also been a reason why Rousey quickly shook off any thoughts of taking her own life.
Rousey stayed quiet for weeks after the loss. But three months removed from the loss, Rousey was more open to go in depth about what went wrong against Holm in the octagon.
“I was knocked off my feet the first time I was hit. It’s hard to really know what was going on,” Rousey said. “With that first hit I cut open my whole mouth and knocked my teeth loose … it was weird I had no perception, I felt like I couldn’t see. I could see but I couldn’t tell how far my hand was from my face or how far she was from me … I was swinging blindly… I really don’t remember most of it.”
Rousey stated that she is looking forward to being the first fighter to defeat Holly Holm. Holm is slated to face Miesha Tate in March. Should Holm defend her title, it is expected that a rematch with Rousey will take place some time in November.