Predictions, beyond pain, for UFC 91

This is one of the weirder pay-per-view fight cards that the UFC has put together in a while. Much like Brock Lesnar, it is top-heavy. At the same time, I think that the main event will entertain us enough that we won't mind the $44.95.

Dustin Hazelett vs. Tamdan McCrory: This fight was just elevated to the televised card after Amir Sadollah had to pull out of his fight with Nick Catone due to a leg infection. MMA Rated is calling this fight the Revenge of the Nerds, and I can't think of a better name for it. Can you think of two guys who are geekier-looking? McCrory is described by the UFC as awkwardly strong. Hazelett has the flexibility of a 12 16-year-old Chinese gymnast. This fight will go to the ground, and I'm betting that we see some bizarre submission attempts, and equally bizarre attempts to get out of them. My pick is Hazelett by an arm bar.

Nate Quarry vs. Demian Maia: Nate Quarry can win this fight if he stays on his feet. Going to the ground with Maia is suicide, as Ryan Jensen, Ed Herman and Jason McDonald have all learned. Maia is still learning the finer points of stand-up, so Quarry's deadly hands will win the fight for him.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Josh Hendricks: Remember how we all used to think that Gabriel Gonzaga was the next big thing at heavyweight? Now he's taking fights with UFC newcomer, Josh Hendricks (No, he and I are not related.) Gonzaga is a manic fighter, but after seeing Fabricio Werdum's unceremonoius exit from the UFC, he has to be worried. Gonzaga will not take this fight lightly, and he will spoil Hendricks' debut with a TKO.

Kenny Florian vs. Joe Stevenson: So many of Florian's fights have carved indellible images into my head. Raining down elbows on Joe Lauzon, winning decisively over a cocky Roger Huerta, reaching the Ultimate Fighter finals despite fighting in a larger weight class, and I'm expecting for him to give me more to remember this Saturday. Look for Florian's superb jiu-jitsu and ability to out condition everyone on the planet to beat Joe Daddy in a third round submission.

Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar: I have spent way too much time thinking about this particular fight. Whenever I start to lean towards Randy, I suddenly think about Brock's unbelievable strength and size. When I have my mind made up that Brock will win it, Randy's experience and skill start to creep into my head. One thing that is unquestioned in my mind is that this fight will go five rounds, and that we will get our money's worth. For his expertise, I am picking Randy Couture.