Major League Baseball's winter meetings begin Monday and our own 'Duk will be on the scene capturing the sights, sounds and smells from Fabulous Las Vegas. Expectations include big free-agent signings, possible superstar trades and at least one waiver claim. The meetings almost never yield what we hope, but it's still OK to dream about blockbuster happenings, like a fictional coming-together of Boras and Vegas' biggest stars. Below is a list of 10 hopeful highlights that would make these meetings the best ever:
9. David Copperfield vs. Carl Pavano at the MGM Grand: Who can make $40 million disappear faster?
8. The Wynn hosts an American Idol-styled Adam Dunn sound-a-like contest, judged by Dunn, Toronto general manager J.P. Ricciardi and Paula Abdul.
7. Seminar at Binion's on left-handers Odalis and Oliver Perez titled "Not the Same Guys."
6. "Six Degrees of Separation from Competing for a World Series: Turning $252 million into A-Rod into Alfonso Soriano into Brad Wilkerson, Armando Galarraga, and Terrmel Sledge, along with Chris Young and Adrian Gonzalez, into Adam Eaton, Akinori Otsuka and Billy Killian into Nobody!" A town hall discussion led by Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks.
5. Juan Cruz continues to claim he's 30 years old despite having his cover blown at the Hilton by high school chum Barry Manilow (far right).
4. Breakout session at the Bellagio: "Using Medicare Part D to Defer the Cost of Caring for Your Elderly Free Agents." Hosted by the agent of left-hander Jamie Moyer (Jamie Moyer).
2. Special general manager networking session at Luxor titled "What Else Can We Squeeze from Neal Huntington and the Pittsburgh Pirates?"
1. Slowly returning to show business more than five years and many tears after the Montecore the Tiger tragedy, Siegfried and Roy get back into the swing at the Mirage by sticking their heads inside the mouth of Scott Boras.