Top 10 best names in MLB draft include Blaze Tart, Joey Pankake and Scott Blewett

David Brown
Blaze Tart of UNC Wilmington, the player with the coolest name in the 2014 MLB draft.

Major league teams don't draft by how cool and unusual a player's name is, but if they did it that way in 2014, this is what the top 10 would look like starting Thursday night:

1. Houston Astros: Blaze Tart, RHP, UNC Wilmington. Not among the top 200 prospects listed at, but both his first and last name bring it. Blaze. Throws hard. Tart. Has tasty stuff.

2. Miami Marlins: Handsome Monica, C, Arizona. Also a good name for a Kentucky Derby hopeful, but this guy's trade is catching.

3. Chicago White Sox: Joey Pankake, 3B, South Carolina. Isn't he the best competitive eater in the world? No, that's Joey Chestnut.

4. Chicago Cubs: Cisco Factor, OF, Seminole St. College. Isn't supposed to be a factor in the first few rounds, but you can never discount the Sisqo Factor among the thongs —  er, throngs — of draftees.

5. Minnesota Twins: Chase Corn, OF, Erskine College. An outfielder chases the ball. He catches a can of corn. It's so perfect. He also gets points for attending a college named Erskine, which probably isn't named for former Brooklyn Dodgers pitcher Carl Erskine. Already has major league eyebrows.

6. Seattle Mariners: Maverik Buffo, RHP, Spanish Fork (Utah), H.S. "Maverik Buffalo" would have been too much to ask.

7. Philadelphia Phillies: Mat Batts, LHP, UNC Wilmington. Pitches, of course — ruining the whole "Batts" thing — but he pitches in the same rotation as Blaze Tart.

8. Colorado Rockies: Cre Finfrock, RHP, Martin County (Fla.) H.S. Not a big kid, but he's got a first and last name combo that has to be unique for all time. Linguistically impossible to say "Cre Finfrock" 10 times fast without messing up.

9. New York Mets: Nigel Nootbaar, RHP, USC. This year's Kirk Saarloos, for you double vowel/Moneyball nerds. You also can't beat the USC lineage, which has produced many a major leaguer.

10. Toronto Blue Jays: Scott Blewett, RHP, Baker (New York) H.S. A likely first- or second-rounder who already has committed to St. John's, you've got root for this guy just because his last name presumes so much. Would make a perfect choice as a closer.

"You had your chance and you (NSFW) BLEWWWWWW IT!"

HONORABLE MENTION: Aaron Bummer, LHP, Nebraska. Just don't expect too much and you won't be let down.

Big BLS H/N: MLB Cut 4

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David Brown is an editor for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at and follow him on Twitter!

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