The Rangers just took crazy ballpark food to the next level

Somebody call the fat lady, and perhaps a gastroenterologist, because the battle for crazy ballpark food is over. The Texas Rangers are set to introduce a number of new food items this season, most of which would make Paula Deen cower in fear. 

First off, the fried S'mOreo, which is exactly what it sounds like. 

(Delaware North)
(Delaware North)

Would you feast your eyes on that beauty? Your retinas don't deceive you, that's a deep fried marshmallow surrounded by two deep fried Oreos. The whole thing is drizzled with chocolate sauce, and topped with what appears to be a dollop of whipped cream. 

For most teams, that would be enough. But the Rangers aren't most teams. The club is also introducing chicken-fried corn on the cob.

(Delaware North)
(Delaware North)

For just five dollars, you get corn on the cob deep fried with a buttermilk batter. It even comes with a lime, and that's a fruit, so you know it's good for you.

The team will also sell bacon cotton candy and candied bacon. Strong items, for sure, but merely a footnote when compared to the mighty S'mOreo. 

Finally, the Rangers have decided to offer bacon beer at select concession stands. The beer is made by Rogue Breweries, and attempts to recreate the flavors of the Bacon Maple Bar doughnut at Voodoo Doughnut in Portland. The beer contains both maple syrup and bacon.

The Rangers are not strangers to wacky food items. The club introduced a two-foot long taco, called a Tanaco, last season. They also served the simple, yet elegant creation known as bacon on a stick

So, if you're planning a trip to Arlington, make sure you have your doctor on speed dial. Texas is known for doing everything bigger, and that could include your hospital bill depending on how many of these items you consume this season. 

(BLS H/N: For The Win)

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Chris Cwik is a writer for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at christophercwik@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Chris_Cwik

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