And while he gained some quality time and a couple of nice slices, Branyan has lost time in the lineup as a result. He hasn't played in five straight games.
So how exactly did Branyan sustain his damage? Well, it wasn't a case of cheese burning the roof of his mouth or running into trouble with Richie Aprile (like Beansie did in "The Sopranos") or even the Rock-afire Explosion robots turning self-aware and evil.
Rather, the mishap near the mozzarella was a bit more mundane.
"On the off day last week, I took my family to a pizza parlor," Branyan said. "They had plastic chairs, and after we'd eaten, my little guy had kicked one of his flip flops off.
"I was sitting on the edge of the chair, leaning down to pick it up, and the chair slid out from under me on the cement floor. I landed right on my tail bone."
[Rewind: Player injures his knee during pie attack ]
Ah well, it's still good enough to qualify for one last "weird baseball injury" story of 2010 and it only makes sense that the poor Mariners lineup would lose one of its only power options — 25 homers, 57 RBIs — while he was eating such a delicious food item. Branyan's teammates would be well advised to avoid the 'Noid for the rest of the season.
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