A-Rod’s camp issues a statement, calls for a federal investigation of MLB ‘misconduct’

It's just another day in the ridiculous world of Alex Rodriguez vs. MLB — with more gossip and allegations leading to more posturing and victimizing.

After a New York Times report with an unnamed source said A-Rod failed a drug test in 2006, his camp retorted Monday by unloading a statement full of humdingers — it calls for a federal investigation into MLB's "possibly illegal misconduct," it asks MLB players why they're not outraged, it appeals to the children and it plays the selling-drugs-to-kids card in relation to MLB's star witness Tony Bosch.

Give it to A-Rod's crew, they know how to craft a statement that's equal parts presidential stump speech and SNL skit. Behold.

“The ethically questionable and possibly illegal misconduct of Major League Baseball in its investigation of Alex Rodriguez -- such as the knowing purchase of stolen documents for $125,000 in cash in a satchel in a Florida restaurant and putting in a good word with prosecutors for someone reportedly under federal and state investigation for distributing drugs to teenagers in the name of getting Alex Rodriguez -- is not just unseemly, it is shameful."

“I believe a federal investigation of this misconduct is needed -- and specifically, of the Commissioner of baseball and the extent of his involvement and knowledge of the professional misconduct by investigators he hired, as reported by the New York Times in its story [Monday].

“I say to all MLB baseball players and owners as a baseball fan all my life and as the father of two young sons who are baseball players:

“Where is the outrage among other MLB players. And to Mr. Selig, I say:

“You are the trustee of our national past-time, at the core of American culture for more than a century. You cannot soil that legacy through dirty and improper investigative tactics. You must answer the question directly, on the record: What did you know and when did you know it?"

Who's really the victim here? Who did what illegally? Who even cares anymore? When it all end? Sadly, none of these are questions we can answer at the moment. Particularly that last one. A-Rod's appeal was supposed to be over about a month ago and it's still going on. It's in recess, in fact, until Nov 18. Anyone else think his appeal might just drag on until spring training? Sheesh.

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Mike Oz is an editor for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at mikeozstew@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!