Oh, this is going to become a thing, isn't it? Every time the Pittsburgh Pirates win a playoff game, some Yinzer goofball jumps off the Roberto Clemente Bridge into the Allegheny River. If it is a thing, thank goodness the Bucs have a 21-year postseason interval.
Apparently sometime after the Pirates beat the Cincinnati Reds 6-2 on Tuesday night, a fan named Dean Pasztor (from the aptly named Shadyside, Ohio) jumped off the iconic Clemente, feet first, and into the chilly Three Rivers waters. It's like giving yourself a Gatorade shower, only God has supplied the bucket and it's a 78-foot drop to complete the dunking. Pasztor was wearing only a black pair of boxer briefs, just like slugger Andrew McCutchen had advised fans to do.
As The Deadspin points out, if only the Zapruder filmmaker had turned his camera sidewise for landscape view instead of the annoying vertical. Learn to use your cell phones if you want to make movies, people. The audio capturing of people shouting "Dean, Dean, Dean!" was nice, though.
A commenter on Pittsburgh radio station 96.1 KISS FM's website might have said it best:
"Shrink the Jolly Roger!"
And Pasztor, who apparently is no worse for wear and doesn't seem to care that people know he's the jumper — he's actually boasting about it, because of course — said the waters were "brisk." He also called the jump "very satisfying." Go Pirates.
— Spumoni (@bastarddpasztor) October 2, 2013
Sure, jumping off a bridge is kind of in the spirit of Roberto Clemente.
Do we have to say "Don't do this at home"? Even if your town doesn't have a Clemente Bridge right across the way from a baseball park, as they do in downtown Pittsburgh, don't even think about it after your team wins. Somebody could lose something precious. And you could get arrested. And probably should.
And, oh, the shrinkage.