What if other baseball feuds were rap battles?

Mike Oz
Big League Stew

When Cleveland Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer released a new rap song titled "You Don't Know Me" many people thought it was aimed at ex-Arizona Diamondbacks teammate Miguel Montero. That made us think: What if other baseball feuds turned into rap battles?

Bauer maintains his song isn't a rap diss track aimed at Montero and the D-backs, rather a response to all his critics on Twitter. Still, that didn't stop us from imagining what rap battles might be like between some of baseball's most bitter rivals.


The Beef:
Clemens hit Piazza in the head in July 2000 after Piazza homered in three straight games off Clemens. Later that year, in the Mets-Yankees World Series, Piazza hit a broken-bat foul ball. Part of his bat flew toward the mound. Clement grabbed it and threw it toward Piazza. This week it came out that Piazza took karate lessons in case he had to fight Clemens, but ultimately backed down.

The Rhymes:
"You're from the 62nd round, what I'd call a clown / The Rocket got you stressin', taking karate lessons / When it's all said and done, you'll be known as Daniel-Sahn" Roger Clemens

"Three home runs and you throw at my head? / You scared of Piazza, that's what the writers said / I'll hit another and you'll hang your head in shame / On the outside looking in, like the Hall of Fame" — Mike Piazza


The Beef:
In the 2003 ALCS, Roger Clemens (him again?) threw a pitch that almost hit Manny Ramirez. Ramirez stepped toward the mound. The benches cleared. Yankees coach Don Zimmer, 72, rushed Pedro Martinez (who had previously hit a Yankees batter) and tried to land a punch. Martinez threw Zimmer to the ground.

The Rhymes:
"Give it up old man, this ain't 'Rocky' / You got no chance in this battle, it's gonna be sloppy / You don't want it with me, go join the AARP"— Pedro Martinez

"Ummm, what's rap? / I'm just an old sap / But, hey, I'll give it a whirl / my rhymes may be ugly — but so is your jheri curl."Don Zimmer


The Beef:
Baseball's version of an abusive relationship, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and on-again-off-again manager Billy Martin fought like dogs but always came back to each other. Love? Hate? It was both.

The Rhymes:
"Look there he is, mister big spender / too bad you can't buy a contender / George, you're just a sorry chump / A wannabe Donald Trump" — Billy Martin

"Didn't I fire you already? / That's 'cause, you ain't as good as Reggie / You're like a cockroach that won't go away / I just served you, like all the waiters I pay." — George Steinbrenner


The Beef:
In 1993, Robin Ventura, then 26, got beaned by Nolan Ryan, then 46. Ventura charged the mound. Ryan put him in a headlock, landed a few punches and we're all left with the indelible image above.

The Rhymes:
"Go ahead and try another head lock / I'll leave you bloodier than Schillling's sock / I look at you and all I see is a ticking clock" — Robin Ventura

"You don't want none of the Ryan express / I'll put a 100 mile heater right in your chest / Go away, young man. Be a quitter / This won't be my eighth no hitter" — Nolan Ryan


The Beef:
Kent and Bonds, two rough personalities, clashed while with playing with the San Francisco Giants. Their feud became public in 2002 after a dugout shoving match.

The Rhymes:
"Back off, Barry, these words gonna sting /To a wannabe home run king / Your head's so big, it's gotta be juiced up / Now go ahead and call Willie Mays for backup" Jeff Kent

"Oh look, it's the washed up ex-MVP / Hey, I think I saw you on reality TV / That's what you're doing? / Man, I feel sorry for YOU / Signed your friend, Mr. 762" — Barry Bonds

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