Something always happens, and mascot George Washington (29 victories in 2010), or mascot Abe Lincoln (29), or mascot Thomas Jefferson (28) crosses the finish line first.
Teddy will tease the crowd, sometimes gain a late lead, then ... fall down. Or he rides a Segway and is passed anyway. Or he stops to pass out T-shirts. Something — and it's often his own misbehavior — always makes Teddy lose.
Tuesday night appeared to be Roosevelt's night as he sprinted to a lead and held it until near the end. What could possibly go wrong, you ask?
This time, Kool-Aid Man jumped from the grandstand and body slammed Teddy to the ground, allowing the other racers to pass. Oh, yeahhh! Teddy loses again. And you know he's going to lose again Wednesday, in the Nationals' home finale.
One thing about the incident: It looks like Kool-Aid Man has lost a lot of weight since his prime fence-busting days. He's not half the pitcher he used to be.
* * *
Big BLS H/N: @LetTeddyWin
Follow Dave on Twitter — @AnswerDave