This and every weekday a.m., let's rise and shine together with the most recent and decent major league happenings. Today's NL roll call starts in Milwaukee, where the first-place Brewers say "Get your stinking paws off us, you damn, dirty Giants!" That, plus the defending NL champions fizzle, perhaps because they were mourning the death of simian activist/Moses impersonator, Charlton Heston.
Ben-Hur: Ben Sheets took his time — seven years! — but followed-up his first major-league complete-game shutout (notched in 2001) with another, blanking the little Giants with eight strikeouts.
The Zen commandments: Barry Zito (he of the $126 million contract) might try Jedi mind tricks next; only three earned runs allowed, but also 8 hits and two homers in 5 innings.
Touch of evil: "I don’t know who Sheets wouldn’t have shut out today," Giants manager Bruce Bochy said. "That stuff shuts out anybody."
Soylent Green is people!: Gabe Kapler, welcome back. He went 2-for-4 with a homer, 2 RBIs and a base theft. He's batting .438.
Rundown feelin' (Sunday's other games)
Diamondbacks 5, Rockies 2 (10 inn.) — Arizona to-do list: Ruin opening weekend for Colorado, which fell to 1-5 amid opening day, a raising of the pennant and a ring ceremony celebrating their World Series berth a season ago.
Pirates 9, Marlins 2 — Mach Snell, mach Snell! Righty Ian Ks 10 Fish in 6 innings.
Dodgers 3, Padres 2 — Trevor's travails: Hoffman has 526 career saves, but is 0-2 this season.
Photo of the Day: Sheets of Happiness
Here's Sheets, reacting to the final out of his complete-game masterpiece. Nothing too funny to say about this one ... just a solid, shadowed shot that tells us more than the standard baseball pic.
Jeff Keppinger (Reds) 3-5, 3 R, HR, 3 RBI
Ryan Braun (Brewers) 3-5, HR, 3 RBI
Albert Pujols (St. Louis) 0-2, 2 BB, SB
Ryan Howard (Phillies) 0-3, 2 K, .200 BA
Kosuke Fukudome (Cubs) 0-3 (How DARE he?)
Eric Byrnes (D'backs) 1-5, batting .154
Big Talker: "The first thing on my mind was I had to do a good job my first time in Cincinnati. I think I did. I didn’t go seven innings or have 10 strikeouts like J.C., but I think it was pretty good." – Edinson Volquez, on comparing his first start to that of teammate Johnny Cueto.