The Juice: Can't you see? It's like Jays' Cecil never wore glasses

Gather 'round, because it's time to recap the most recent diamond doings. Roll Call starts and ends in a hurry because they only played four games last night.

Game of the Day: Blue Jays 6, Angels 0

Left-hander Brett Cecil(notes) CLAIMS to have left an expensive pair of prescription goggles back in Canada. No matter for the Toronto Blue Jays, who have won Cecil's starts on their West-Coast trip despite him going to the mound blind as a bat both times.

Look at the facts: Cecil had a 5.46 ERA in his first five starts, all reportedly bespectacled. Since the Jays hit the road — with Cecil allegedly having left his goggles on some Ontario night stand — he's allowed two earned runs and nine hits in 13 2/3 combined innings.

The story goes that Cecil started wearing glasses because he had trouble seeing at night and seeing the signs (the catcher's fingers, not road signs — but maybe them, too).


"Those cost a little bit of money," Cecil said. "I need those back. I guess I could sell them or do something with them."

You know what I say? Goggles, schmoggles.

These glasses were SO expensive and are SO important that NOBODY in Toronto could get Cecil's landlady to open his front door so Garth Iorg could retrieve and put them on the next red eye to California?

Oh, stop the farce, Mr. Cecil. You never actually wore glasses. We've all been having a shared delusion — un folie à plusieurs, if you will. Either that, or you've got 20/20 vision without the specs and we're the ones who need glasses. (And Jose Bautista(notes) is his own father!)

Whatever, the Jays might just be in "don't change anything" mode right now; They're 27-20, a half-game behind the New York Yankees for the wild card spot in the AL. There it is, one of the first mentions of the wild card. I love baseball in late May!

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They Also Played

Reds 7, Pirates 5: The moment of truth came in the fourth, after pitcher Aaron Harang(notes) hit a run-scoring single. Digest that, then realize that Harang (listed at 6-foot-7, 265 pounds) came around from first base to score on Orlando Cabrera's(notes) gapper. Harang was so gassed by the end he couldn't conjure the energy to slide. Plus, Harang got so dehydrated, he morphed into some kind of mustachioed baseball-headed man-beast! Oh, wait. That's Mr. Redlegs (above).

"It'll be a while before you see me try to do that again," Harang (actually below) said.

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White Sox 7, Indians 2: Wearing Luis Aparicio's No. 11, Omar Vizquel(notes) collected his 2,764th career hit as a shortstop, second all-time to Derek Jeter(notes).

"It's unbelievable," Vizquel said. "Wow, that's a lot of hits. I never thought I would get that amount of hits in the big leagues. It's unreal. I look back on my career and I'm really proud it has been consistent throughout the years and it makes me proud because defensively I know that I can play, but that's a lot of hits."

Vizquel then disappeared in his bed, like Yoda.

Red Sox 6, Rays 1: Another strong start by Mr. Dependable, Clay Buchholz(notes). If only the Red Sox had two or three more like him, they'd have a chance to catch the Yankees or Jays for second place.

Nobody breaks down home runs quite like Wezen-Ball's Tater Trot Tracker, and you ought to be curious as to how long it took David Ortiz(notes) to circle the bases on his deep last night. That is, if he's done circling yet.

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