That glorious mustache is dead? Say it ain't so, Giambino!

Oh, dear. I was just catching up on my reading when my heart stopped.

WARNING: The following is excerpted from Jason Giambi's return to Oakland press conference on Wednesday and is not for the elderly or the faint of heart.

From the SF Chronicle:

His unflattering mustache of last season ("Bad look," Giambi said) will not make an appearance, but Giambi will return to his long-haired, self-described "scruffy" style of his pre-Yankees days, he said. And his famous gold thong will be back in his locker.

Today is a sad, sad day indeed — return of the golden thong, or not.

I mean, I must've gotten 30 posts out of his lip hair in 2008 if I got three. Is Giambi trying to get me to come up with some original ideas here? Does he not realize the entertainment it provides all of us Stewies?

Pffffft. About my only hope here is the fact that he ditched the 'stache last season (causing me to use the same headline I did today) before realizing its majestic powers and bringing it back for a late go-round. Here's hoping another early season slump will snap him back into his senses, but the truth is that I miss it already. I miss it so much.