Bad news, Stewies: Thanks to attention from CBS Chicago and Eye on Baseball, it appears that the 19-cent tickets for Monday night's Houston Astros-Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field have all been snapped up and purchased by an unidentified StubHub user/glutton for punishment.
But sulk not! There are still several other options listed for under a dollar for all three games of the season-ending series between baseball's two worst teams, including a pair in Section 536 on Monday for only 75 cents apiece. Yeah, StubHub will tack on another $10.45 in service fees, but what is money when you have the opportunity to see:
• The 106-loss Astros play what will be their final games as a member of the NL!
• The 99-loss Cubs clinch the draft's No. 2 pick with another defeat, which would also secure the team's first 100-loss season since 1966!
• Seven words: Monday night's starters — Lucas Harrell versus Jason Berken!
• The possibility of seeing a game between teams with 100 losses or more for the first time since the Mets and Cubs met with triple digits to their name in 1962! (The Brooklyn Superbas and Boston Beaneaters also met under the same terms in 1905.)
• The chance to see more horrific injuries!
I've never really understood why people even bother to go through the process of listing tickets on StubHub for pennies, especially when the site is going to take its 15 percent cut. But when it comes to the opportunity of seeing such bad, bad baseball at such low, low prices — the opportunity cost of missing meaningful games aside — I'm sure glad they did.