We here at Big League Stew are usually not in the business of reporting every occasion that a car is micturated upon in the fair city of Tampa.
However, when the violated vehicle is owned by an All-Star pitcher, it definitely passes our threshold for being newsworthy. Which is why you are now looking at a picture of Tampa Bay Rays pitcher David Price, who left Joe Maddon's charity event on Friday and found a man urinating on his car.
Though no pictures exist of the incident (thankfully), we assume this was the look on Price's face before he piped up and asked the man what in the name of Gary Miller he was doing.
Quick! Someone get the man a coupon for a free car wash!
The man apparently didn't take kindly to being interrupted — he pushed Price and took a swing at him, but Price said he wisely avoided confrontation, joking he was too quick.
"I was," Price said, "relieved with how it turned out."
Ah, it's nice to see that Price wasn't left, uh, all wet and was able to joke after the incident. He tweeted that he wisely didn't engage the man in a fight because his "momma taught me better" and that his strategy upon being attacked was "float like a butterfly."
Of course, that's solid advice for anyone who might find themselves in a similar situation as holiday parties start to get out of hand this month. Though it does leave your opponent exposed, fighting a man with his fly down is just something you should avoid entirely.
Big BLS H/N: Eye on Baseball