Create-a-Caption: Jason Varitek needs Paul Byrd for just a sec

Paul Byrd(notes) pitched pretty well over 5 2/3 innings against the Royals on Tuesday night. Unfortunately, he had to pitch a total of 6 2/3 innings and gave up five runs in the bottom of the first to pave Zack Greinke's(notes) easy way to victory.

I'm sure that Boston fans would like to hope that Byrd can be the type of reliable long-inning relief guy every postseason roster needs, but his 6.04 ERA doesn't speak to confidence and he'll likely have to assert himself over two starts to end the season if he's to win the playoff trust of Terry Francona and Theo Epstein.

Anyway, have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this shirt-tugging caption between Byrd and catcher Jason Varitek(notes) read?

Follow the jump for winners from Monday's C-a-C featuring a wandering White Sock:

Jermaine Dye makes a break for it at The Cell

1st — ultracraignetic. "Must kill William Ligue Jr.""

2nd — The Man. "I can't go to jail for 20 months for playing poorly can I?"

3rd — Poster. "After a routine trip to the restroom, and for most of the 2009 season, Jermaine Dye(notes) appears to be lost out in right field."

HM — Tom. "Jermaine Dye runs for cover as a 70-foot-tall Milton Bradley(notes) terrorizes the city in response to the news he's been suspended."

HM — Changeup The Turtle. "I was just gonna get a hot pretzel."

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