However, as these two fine White Sox fans can attest, that's simply not true.
So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?
Follow the jump for winners from Wednesday's C-a-C featuring new friends in Colorado:
1st — JJ. "I once took steroids too, son. Unfortunately, I injected them into my lower lip."
2nd — JerBear50. "Nice job today, son. Just so we're clear, if you so much as THINK about swinging at a pitch, we'll dump you out at Mile High in a Cutler jersey."
3rd — Dan D. "Son, up here we keep our bananas firmly wrapped up. I don't want yours swinging in any hammocks now, you hear?"
HM — Allen. "Trust me Jason, this is not a joke. You are in Colorado. You are in the Majors again. You are wearing a uniform. You will be getting paid. This is not a dream, so you can stop crying now."